Hi, Chrissie. It is really hard when you feel a long friendship is turning negative. But I really believe, even though it is very hard to do, that the only way we get to the bottom of things is to talk it out. To listen and talk, being very clear and fearless about what is hurting or confusing you. Your friend may be defensive and openly angry with you during this honest exchange, but at least there won’t be any question that YOU are unhappy and need to see a change if the friendship is to continue. I think the most destructive thing in all relationships is to maintain a sullen silence.

Deborah Barchi has recently retired from her career as a librarian and now has time to read, explore nature, and write poetry and essays. 824drb@gmail.com

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